is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
