This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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