your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
