Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
