Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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