it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
