Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
