I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize