I hope mine doesn't look like that
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
