My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
