I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
