I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
