garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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