i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
