tell your sister to shave her snatch
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
