Got a toothbrush?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
