roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
