it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
