i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
