haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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