go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
