Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
