We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
