You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize