it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
