just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
