So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
