why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Where is the hickey?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
