I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
