Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just want to make out with him forever
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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