somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
