i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
