Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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