There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
