You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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