The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
