Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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