i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
