You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
