i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
