david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
