we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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