yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
