Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Pooping to opera.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
