you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I deserve this hangover.
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