You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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