Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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