thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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