# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize