why didn't you poke me back
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize