I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
sarcasm needs its own font
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
