Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just want nice things and good sex
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
