I don't usually arrange sex via text message
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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