No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
