I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
