just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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