Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
