Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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