i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
