He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
two words...techno handjob
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
My breasts were aching with rage.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
