If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
