the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
