three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
