You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
