it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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